About a month ago, I gave up on my back’s ability to magically self-heal. I made an appointment with a chiropractor near our house. By that point, I couldn’t sit without pain. If I was standing or walking, the pain started radiating down my legs and I was feeling numbness in my limbs.
So I met with Dr. Sobrahn at Progressive Health Center. The first appointment involved a lot of tests to get a status on what was happening. After we got those results, the treatment phase began.
This is my 100% subjective view of what happens at the chiropractor.
Woodpecker. I sit in a device that is similar to where you get a chair massage. My face is in the furniture, so I can’t see what is happening. I do know that at some point, I receive trigger point therapy and a woodpecker comes to stab my back over and over. It hurts. A lot.
The Wave Table. It goes up and down and curves over various areas of my spine. Since I am resting comfortably, I figure that I must look really weird. Like, horror movie weird. This is probably my favorite part because there is a hot cloth involved on my back. Also, the pain is less concentrated on a specific trigger point, so I don’t want to cry.
Electrocution via spiders. Little sticky things get attached to you and then you are zapped with electric volts to get the nerves moving. Feels like volty spiders crawling on you. It’s not an unpleasant feeling, as long as you don’t mind the sensation of spiders in your skin.
Cold Laser. It’s cold, but it still zaps the bad away. With a name like cold laser, I expected more zazzle. This doesn’t hurt. At all.
50 Shades of Chiropractic Care. There’s this other table. To use it, you get a whole bunch of straps put on your upper body to immobilize you. Then your lower body is strapped to a machine and it stretches you. It’s really awkward to make friendly conversation when you are covered in what would appear to be S&M gear to the average person. It’s my understanding that my lower spine is being decompressed. It feels good, other than the fact that I am strapped to a table. (Seriously, someone would look at a photo of that and say, she’s into weird stuff and not say, oh, she’s having her spine decompressed. Although maybe having my spine decompressed is weird stuff; I can’t be sure anymore.)
Frankenstein’s Table. You stand on it and it lowers you until you are laying down. (Don’t wear backless shoes because you will probably lose one during this process.) This is where the stretching happens. Sometimes the back buffer. Sometimes the woodpecker. I don’t mind this table. Except for the woodpecker, it’s not a super painful ordeal.
Stretching. My favorite part. We’ve worked on lots and lots of stretches. Particularly for my shoulder, which often hurts if I spend a long day at my desk. I also stretch on the Power Plate .
The Playground Toy. This has a real name that I’ve taken the time to learn. (Because I want it.) It’s the LifeSpan Fitness Stretch Partner.
This thing bends and you stretch on it, which is why I think it is fun. It also reminds me of a playground toy of my youth, where they put things on springs and you could bend forward or backward. Awesome stuff. This machine helps my shoulder more than any other stretch. I want this for my house. Badly. Genius machine.
The Results. I still have some lower back pain, but it is no longer keeping me awake at night. It no longer radiates through my legs. It feels much better. I have no clue which of the methods described above helped the most, but I assume it is the combination of all of them. All I know is that I feel a lot better. I will continue to go once a week. It’s been really helpful.
Disclosure: I’m paying for all of this and wasn’t asked to write this review. The photo of the LifeSpan machine is an Amazon affiliate link. If you click it and buy it, I make some money. However, I wanted a photo and that doesn’t violate anyone’s copyrights, so it seemed easiest.
You must be going to a high-tech chiropractor! I still get adjusted by hand.
I thoroughly enjoyed your technical scientific explanations! I’m pretty sure when I went to the chiropractor a few years back that he was intentionally trying to break my bones so that I would have to keep coming. Forever. I’m glad to hear your feeling a little better!
As long as I don’t mind the sensation of spiders crawling on me??!! Um, why yes, thank you. I do mind. Sounds like an outtake from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Eeeeeeekkkkkk. Glad to hear your back is feeling better though!
Mine has the wave table and I LOVE it, assuming it is like that giant table where the roller goes up and down your back. So wishing they had the other stretching tools there! I have used the stretch partner at Lifetime Fitness and yes, that would be incredible for my home gym! I have mainly upper back issues and stretchig is my friend. That reminds me to go see my Chiro tonight!
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