I don't think it is okay to go off in the comments on someone else's blog about something another commenter said. Especially when I worry that it could be interpreted as a flame situation. That's not how I roll. So, I'm going to say what I have to say here. Because it's kind of long-winded. Like usual.
Last night, I linked to an article on my dear PF friend Mighty Bargain Hunter's blog. The contents brought up some personal feelings from me and I responded.
Today, there is a comment that made me almost fall out of my chair.
The young man made a good decision. The debt his future wife was carrying would have decided the path of their lives for decades to come. It would have influenced the house they could (or could not) buy, the number of children they have, the travel they can’t experience…
The debt also showed that his future wife would be bad with money. Not only did she rack up that kind of debt on a worthless degree, but (according to the story I read) she was oblivious to the actual amount owed and what it would take to pay it off.
If she comes into the relationship that bad with money, it’s not going to change when she has his paycheck to squander too.
I feel sorry for the young woman, as she’s now eternally Googleable for this issue, but that’s the economic age we live in. It’s time to pay the piper.
First, Allison's decision to come forward in the New York Times was BRILLIANT. You see, she's making that "useless" degree work for her because THEY LINKED TO HER PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS. The New York Times linked to her photography business. Do you know what that will do for her? This article has been widely publicized. I've seen it linked in countless places. Allison's business is going to thrive for doing this interview.
Second, on being eternally Googleable for an issue. I know a lot about that. Just take a look at my press page. I will talk to absolutely any reporter at any time who is willing to tell my story. Whether it is about my debt or my issues with compulsive shopping. Just pick up the November issue of Marie Claire. (I think I just disclosed the Undisclosed Project.) I am 100% fine with Danielle Liss being synonymous with a professional woman who had a compulsive shopping addiction, hit rock bottom and dug her ass out of $167,000 worth of debt.
Unlike Allison Eastman, I didn't just spend my money on a "useless" degree. (Although I am doubtful that anyone would call $100k on a JD useless. I'd love to hear that argument.) But I did spend THOUSANDS on shopping. THOUSANDS on shoes. These are distinctions that the women in debt in the article are quick to make – I am in debt because of school, not because I shopped. Well, I am in debt because I shopped. I AM NOT ASHAMED.
I resent the idea that I am now unworthy of love in the eyes of the general public because I was financially irresponsible in my past. Fortunately, my husband doesn't feel the same way. My husband is my champion. My husband is my best friend. My husband is proud of the significant progress that I have made in clearing out my debt. That's love.
So, let me say this one more time. My name is Danielle Liss. I am a former compulsive shopper and debtor. I amassed debts totaling almost $167,000 at the peak of my financial irresponsibility. I have sought help through CCCS and in a little more than a year, I have paid off $25,000 of that debt. I don't seek or ask for your forgiveness.
I am simply here to tell my story. For those who are in similar situations, there is hope. You are not alone. There is a brighter day ahead.
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You tell them, Danielle! That’s why I first came to your blog and keep coming back. It was a relief to see that I wasn’t the only fighting debt. I totally agree about people who have made mistakes in the past being deserving of a loving relationship. What’s most important is that the person learned from their mistakes and is trying to fix them. Besides, who wants to be in a relationship with such a unforgiving jerk like the above commenter?
For what it’s worth, my “useless” JD (and yes, I’ve been told that my degree is useless and have occasional felt that way) has saved my butt. I was recently laid off and in the past I struggled to make ends meet. This time around my legal license has allowed me to pick up doc review projects. I’m actually making more per hour than I did at my old job. No benefits, though but my bills are paid and I can still put money away for retirement and savings. Long story short, my “useless”‘degree has proven to be useful in what would have otherwise been a really difficult mistake.
What a GREAT post!! You tell them, Danielle! Im very impressed with your moxie.
Great post. I thought the original NYT article was provocative and the idea of being “eternally Googleable” is an interesting side issue. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post!! You are so right… Way to go for standing up and speaking your mind; telling the TRUTH!
My wife and I went through a short sale and needed to get back on track. We now follow the two key principles. First the Total Money Makeover, which helps us with debt. Second Team National, http://www.bign.com/rbusby which has a marketplace for us to buy our regular household items will receiving a commission back. Its going really well.
Apparently these two (the fiancé-dumper and the commenter) only marry perfect people.
Wonderful post, I hope some of those perfect-people-seekers read it!