Lately, I've lacked confidence in so many areas. Other than my typical mood swings, I don't know what is at the root of the problem.
I spend a lot of the day feeling frazzled. Not about work. I'm confident in my abilities at work. I guess I've finally been practicing for a long enough time to feel comfortable in what I need to do. But I do feel frazzled in getting everything done in a day. By the time I get home, it seems like there is so much that I want to accomplish that I simply can't get to. I've been very burnt out. I know this happens to everyone. It doesn't help that my body never wants to cooperate or function properly. Most of the time, it just wants sleep.
This is a prelude of sorts. I talked about this on another venue tonight and I am also going to talk about it here. Hell, if I wanted to, I could also take it over to TFL, but I don't want that to become a complete catch-all for whatever is on my mind.
I am taking the obese fashionless manatee thing to new levels lately. I've lost about three lbs., but I am still at my highest weight ever. I look horrific. We were in line at the grocery store last night and my husband said, Wow, Lisa Marie Presley really looks like shit. The National Enquirer had her pegged at 165 lbs. Then I thought how much more than that I weigh. How much worse than that I must look. How has this happened.
I know that it has partially been my thyroid and the yeast. But it has also bee sheer laziness. I don't watch what I eat. I don't exercise. I have more or less given in. I've accepted the pain of fibro and the limitations that it puts on my life. Even though every doctor I've had says to exercise through the pain. I gave up at some point.
I did my Ballet Conditioning DVD on Saturday and I am still sore.
I need to get into a fitness routine. But that's just one more thing that I've got to find time for. One more thing that needs to get added to my schedule. But this isn't a want. This is a need. I look like hell. I feel like hell. Changes are a necessity.
Frustrated. If I don't make some serious changes soon, I will weigh more than my husband. Not okay.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel your pain. Sometimes I feel like I turned around and there was an extra 75 pounds that attached itself to my ass.
Realizing it’s time to make a change is definitely the first step, and making yourself accountable is the second. Everyone sings the Weight Watchers song, but I’m totally allergic to spending money on weight loss, so I’m doing a calorie tracking thing. It’s really helped. The trick is finding what works for you, and still being happy!
I understand the difficult times you in right now. You just can’t help to realizing the time changes everything but it’s up to us on how make the most of it.
So yeah… big big hugs.
there are times that i also experience lock of confidence, that makes me weak. It creates fear to myself. I decided to join some activities to increase my confidence especially when dealing with others.