Since I typically play rainbows and unicorns, I thought I'd let you feel a dark spot through live blogging.
I'm on the edge of a money panic attack. It's based on nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Well, I guess something. I went on Mint.com earlier and my house value dropped again. My 2900 square foot house is now worth $192,000. I owe $373,000. I want to vomit. Between that drop and the capitalized interest on the student loans that will be added on 2/14, my net worth is taking a huge hit and it is now going to be negative $300,000. And that somehow seems like a kick in the ass and an intense feeling of failure washes over me. I really want to cry.
I realize that this is more about my own brand of CRAZY than anything else. Before, I wanted to have all of the stuff that I wanted regardless of cost. Now, I want to get rid of the debt immediately and be successful and I am so impatient. I want positive net worth immediately. It's a whole lot easier to get into debt than it is to get out.
Honestly, I'm nervous. Tax appointment with beloved CPA tomorrow. Let's hope this goes well. If we owe, I'm going to be completely batshit insane tomorrow night.
I need a couple of pills to kick in and balance some of the crazy brain parts. This is not an easy moment and I am not going to cry over absolutely nothing. Instead, I'm going to go upstairs, get changed, stop acting like a crazy bitch and relax. I'm going to breathe. This will pass. I am not failing at being financially responsible. I am doing well at sticking with my budget. I am just acting like a raving nut right now.
Let's be thankful that I'm not snowed in with my own thoughts right now. Welcome to the dark side of being former nobility in the land of financial irresponsibility.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Deep breath! You’re going to be fine. You didn’t get into debt overnight, you won’t get out overnight, and there will be bumps in the road. I know the feeling, even though my net worth is only negative $185k, but if I include my future husband’s, we’ll be negative $330k, and then if we decide to buy a house it’ll be close to negative million. Just keep taking it one day at a time, and know that you’ll get through this soon enough.
Try to relax. Your mortgage is underwater. Lots of people are stuck in the same situation. I sold real estate for 8 years (the best damned job I ever had) and ran into this type of situation before. You bought your house when the market was flooded with over-inflated housing prices. Now the house price is adjusting downward to reflect the havoc in the credit markets. This may sound simple but you just have to wait. The market will readjust when the economy recovers and housing is in demand again. I would never use market value as a factor for determining net worth. It’s too unstable an indicator. Instead, use the value of your equity in the house. This will be a difficult number for you to deal with because you are a relatively new homeowner, in real estate years, and most of your mortgage payments in the first seven years of a conventional mortgage go to interest, not principal. But use the equity number, not the market value number. It’s more realistic and more painful. In all seriousness, this too will pass. If this doesn’t make sense (and I’m sure it doesn’t since I’m snowbound and not thinking clearly), just let me know and I’ll find some other, more rational, way to explain it to you.
I just read what I wrote. I meant to say that you have to back out equity from the mortgage amount before you calculate net worth. Don’t use the raw number of house market value. Clearly, the snow is fogging my head.
[[HUG]]
Channel that crazy, we love you as you are but this particular brand can really drive you to strung out nerves and unpleasant hair loss. Been there. Breathe deeply, darlin, we’re here for you. (Helps to scream on the blog, though, doesn’t it?)
*gives you massive hugs* I’ll even let you play with my Lite Brite.
Hopefully by now you have managed your way out of this overwhelm. I know it sucks but overwhelm like this is never the truth. Ever.
Plus you have “evidence” in the form of what Money Coach has advised you about this previously. Time to listen to Money Coach! Of course I know that you already listen to him since he rules.
You obviously can’t control the market, you have no plans to move (that I know of) and so yes . . . breathe . . . . focus on the things that you can control because you always have a choice there.
This is exactly the reason why I don’t include my house debt in my total debt picture. I find my current credit card debt to be insurmountable enough – to add my mortgage (paltry as it is) to the mix would be incredibly depressing.
Keep up the good work, though. Like someone said above – Rome wasn’t built in a day
I was wrong! I’d said that if we added my BF’s loans to mine we’d be -$330k in debt. Nope, we’ll be -$465k. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! All I can do is laugh, but I do know this. Like Anwyn Moore said, there’s not a chance in holy hockey sticks I’m including my mortgage (when I ever get one) in my debt. I’ll just treat it like rent until I can look at the student loans again. Good gracious this is a mess! I hope you’re feeling better now!!
I know I’m late so I hope that you’re feeling better by the time you read this. I’ve been where you are and it can be paralyzing. I’m not a “take a deep breath” kind of person and I don’t know if you are or not. I’m an action-oriented person and what works for me is to figure out how to better my situation. In your case, look at how far you’ve come! You’re doing a really good job. Getting out of debt is tough but you’re doing everything you’re supposed to do so take pride in that. If all else fails, have a piece of cake/chocolate/scoop of Haagen Daas.