Emails to Daughter: An email chain in which I am wronged

Father:  Introducing the reigning "World Champion Doll Baby".  [links to a video of not me.]

Daughter:  I do not possibly understand how that is not my title.

Father: In spirit, you retain said title.

But per AAU standards "Upon attaining independent mobility and the
ability to communicate in complete sentences, Doll Baby eligibility is
surrendered to advance into the cruel world of approaching adulthood".

Related articles:

1. Emails to Daughter: Turtle Control
2. New and Improved: Now on Wellbutrin (or the generic thereof)
3. If You Talk About Lost, I Don’t Spend Money