Two letters to Google searchers who got stuck with me

July 15, 2009 · 2 comments

in Letters

1.  Dear person who got here by searching "m not taking bar exam,"

Yes you are.  You have been studying your ass off.  Take the stupid test.  Then it will all be over.  Stop having a tantrum a week before the test.  I bet you need some sleep.  Oh, that's right.  You don't get to sleep now. 

2006 was so long ago.  I'm sorry, but I am just not that sympathetic and I have stopped yuppie whining.  So, you have to stop bar exam whining.  Suck it up.  Take the test. 

Oh, and good luck.  By the way, m is not a word.  Don't pull that shit on the exam.  It's am.  Consider that my helpful study hint.

2.  Dear person who got here by searching for preteen nudists,

Get your ass off my site, sicko.  I turn a blind eye at the foot fetish bullshit, but this will NOT be tolerated.  I should figure out how to find your IP address and report you to the cyber police because you are a damn pervert.  Or better yet, that guy who catches dumb ass predators on TV. 

You are not welcome in my land of rainbows and unicorns.  Run along and NEVER come back.

Related articles:

  1. Bar Exam FAQ #1
  2. You must be pissed
  3. Another Note to the Search People

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Legally UnBound July 23, 2009 at 11:32 pm

I would laugh out loud, but the preteen jerk should his preteen hardware removed. Isn’t it funny the google searches that bring up your blog. I get the craziest that want to take over the government, no pedifiles.

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Danielle July 25, 2009 at 2:05 am

I refer to the cats as nudists (they are hairless) and somehow, that’s what I get. For the longest time, I was getting searches on a daily basis for tampon instructional video. I have no clue what combination of words did it!
I get grapetini searches constantly. I’m pretty high on their list. I am also relatively high in certain combinations of Dr. Frank Lipman Spent. I’m sure he’s thrilled because I hated his book and returned it because I refused to spend money on it.
I’ve grown accustomed to the foot fetish folks. They’re fine and usually don’t leave inappropriate comments.
Of course, I also get a lot of searches for people dealing with very specific health issues. I’ve written a lot more about the herxheimer reaction than the average person. :)

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