I often refer to myself as a half-assed buddhist. I don't know if I am Zen or any other branch. I know I believe in the Four Noble Truths and I want to live according to the eightfold path. Lately, I've been feeling out of sorts. Very disconnected from myself. My reflexologist suggested meditation and getting back in touch with my spiritual side.
During my last visit to the library, I checked out some books on buddhism and one has been amazing. Plant Seed, Pull Weed. I'm not a gardener (yet), but I love the metaphor and the way the she presents the dharma. It has made me think so much about how I deal with life. I have lost any ability to be patient. There is so much stress and anger (often at myself). There are so many mental weeds. I dwell on things well in the past and I worry about the future. I need to refocus on RIGHT NOW.
This morning, I got up and something made me do things differently. Perhaps it was the recent reading finally sinking in. Instead of rushing to get to work a little earlier than usual so that I could bill an extra .3, I took my time getting ready this morning. I made oatmeal. While it was cooking, I took out the recycling and cleaned the litter boxes. I added some freshly ground flax seeds to the oatmeal and it was the most delicious breakfast I have had in ages. I spent time eating it. I read the news online. I caught up on FB. Then I got ready for work. Again, for once, I didn't feel rushed. I would get there by 9, which is perfectly acceptable.
When I got to work, I was in the most positive mood I have had in a long time. Taking that time for myself was a huge step. I believe I am going to try and make this my routine. I need that down time to prepare for my day. Once I can afford a treadmill, I'll make the non-quick cooking steel oats in the rice cooker and when I'm done my cardio, my breakfast will be waiting. I'm not losing sleep. I'm not losing time at work. In fact, I was more focused at work. It was a very pleasant way to start the day.
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